I am Jon Stewart, tiny host man. AMA!
Hi guys. I’m here on behalf of my film ROSEWATER, which opens today in theaters nationwide. It’s a true story of an Iranian journalist held in solitary for 4 months for the terrible crime of reporting. I’m here with Victoria to help me out. AMA.
What was filming Coffee with Comedians in Cars like?
I have always enjoyed hanging out with Jerry who is (for comedians) someone you’re in a little bit of awe of.
He is – it’s like being in the presence of a master craftsman. And watching him work, or being able to make him laugh, is – whether you’re sitting in the front seat of a ’76 off-brown Gremlin, or not – a pretty big deal.
What was the joke that made you so angry at Seth McFarlane?
It wasn’t a joke. It was during a very difficult time, during the writer’s strike, and he’s a guy that i really respect and admire, and i heard he was really disappointed in me for coming back on the air, and so we had a conversation that got heated, but I think hopefully we both ended up with a better understanding of each other’s position on it, and have since become friendly.
Who did you look up to when you grew up?
I really looked up to… the Monty Python guys. And the Mets. Strange bedfellows.
Would you ever do another debate with Bill O Reilly?
Uh, I would absolutely. I always enjoyed it. It reminds me of everything thanksgiving i had growing up, where my relatives would come over. And we would always end up screaming and yelling over plates of gravy and cranberry sauce, and then laughing our asses off while watching football later.
Can you please share with us one fact about Big Daddy that isn’t common knowledge?
The child in the film – people believe the child in the film was played by the Sprouse twins. It was actually the guy from STAR WARS who played R2D2 in a little boy suit.
What are the biggest pros and cons of being famous for you?
stares
Pro…is you get nicer treatment than you deserve, in many arenas.
The con is: people occasionally call you a “fucking scumbag” on the street in front of your family.
Please explain what about the script of “The Faculty” made you come to the conclusion that “Yes, I have to be in this movie.”?
Honestly, it was just a chance to hang out with Robert Rodriguez for a couple of weeks in Austin, TX.
If someone said to you:”Come to Austin, hang out with Robert Rodriguez” and all it’ll cost you is at some point, someone will jam a pen filled with methamphetamines in your eye – wouldn’t you do that too?
Mr. Stewart, how does Stephen smell?
Stephen smells like – it’s a cross between –
Squints into distance
Persimmons and a tattered copy of THE HOBBIT.
Can you tell us the secret to your luxurious hair?
Uh… that is the nicest thing anybody has ever said to a 51 year old victim of male pattern baldness.
I think the big secret is never turn around. Face everyone.
What are your plans post Daily Show?
Nap.
When you went on Crossfire, was it your mission from the start to disrupt their whole theater of debate (and lead to their demise), or just to engage them about the nature of their show?
It really was not my intent to be disruptive. I truly thought we’d have a goof about how terrible the program is at the top, and move on, but… the combination of their obstinance and my low blood sugar led to no bueno.
What was going through your mind when Stephen Colbert lost his composure while eating a banana on The Daily Show?
My greatest joys on the show were trying to make Stephen break, or the other correspondents. Because you felt as though you had accomplished something somewhat Herculean. It’s not easy to tickle those folks, but when it happens, you savor it.
If you could go back in time and interview someone from history, who would it be and why?
Uh… I would say Abraham Lincoln.
For the obvious historical importance aspect, as well as the “secret to the confidence of being able to rock the top hat and Amish beard.”
Respect.
Can you describe your personal and professional feelings the day that the Anthony Weiner scandal hit?
That’s a good question.
I think I was… sad. For the individual that i knew as a friend.
And that colored, you know, the general process of creating the humor. I also think I may have overcompensated by doing more material on it than we might have normally.
What do you usually whisper in your guests’ ear after concluding the interview?
I want you to get *get the fuck off my stage.
NOW!
Actually, it’s usually a continuation of something that we were discussing on there, that i wasn’t smart enough to get in during the actual televised portion.
Or “good job!”
What was the most unexpected thing a guest ever said or did on your show?
Probably the time after the interview Jimmy Carter asked me if I wanted to get high, and listen to some Wu-Tang.
(*unfortunately that is not true)
BUT STILL.
Would’ve been sweet!
Favorite meal?
I’ve gotta go with the classics. Your cheeseburger / fry / milkshake. Your pizza. Your solid steak. Steak and mash. Nice gravy. I’m not the most adventurous of eaters.
So keep that aioli shit from me.
You recently appeared at a tribute to Don Rickles. How did you first meet him?
I met Don when he performed at Carnegie Hall. Don is truly one of the sweetest, and kindest, men in the business I’ve ever met. Not to tell tales out of school, maybe the finest smelling human being I know. Like a mix between Sinatra and a pastry.
Will you and Bill O’rielly just kiss already? The sexual tension is palpable.
Right?
It’s really the height differential that keeps us from consummating.
What is the most influential piece of advice that you have ever received?
A small redheaded girl with a dog once told me that “the sun would come out, tomorrow.”
I didn’t believe her at first.
And yet…
Here we are.
Thank you.
sings
THE SUN’LL COME OUT TOMORROW! BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROW…
Besides Rosewater, do you have a favorite movie?
I’m unfortunately an enormous fan of almost every movie that I go to see.
I’m that annoying person that walks out of every movie and goes THATWASUNBELIEVABLE! Can’t believe they figured out how to train a DRAGON!
That being said, I’d have to put almost any Scorsese movie at the top of the list. I had to learn how to do accents somewhere.
What’s your favorite animal?
Always been an otter fan, an otter guy.
Something about the mischief. And their cute little hands.
But when you really study it, and you see that they can actually rip things apart with them, it can take a dark turn.
What’s the best part about having your show several times a week? And any cons?
I think the best part is that it allows you to get into a good creative rhythm. As well as allowing you to make good on shows that didn’t quite achieve what you wanted them to.
The tough part is when a show really does fall into that sweet spot, you feel like all the jokes hit, and the intention of it was really clear, and there’s no moment to savor, either. Because either way, it’s time to make the donuts.
Is Victoria lobbying the hardball questions at you or is she doing a Fox News special?
She is breaking my balls like nobody’s business.
How censored are you on the show? Are there ever any opinions you’d like to express or stories/topics you’d like to cover but can’t because you’re not allowed to?
Sorry, the answer is censored.
What was the most fun you’ve ever had with a guest on the show?
For me, it’s always when I have friends on and it dissolves into a giggle fit, which I’m sure must be sooo pleasant to watch.
Who’s your favorite superhero?
I mean, I don’t like to be trite with it, but it’s hard to top Superman.
To be fair, though, I was always a huge fan of the X-Men series before it got too timetravely for me to figure out what was going on.
When can we expect to see the return of your awesome beard?
I miss my awesome beard so much.
The sad thing was, the last time that I had a strong relationship with him was before I started the show, and I remembered him as red and brown and luxurious. When we met again, last summer, I had no idea how he had been suffering. Somehow, all the minerals or color or whatever it was had been sucked away from him, and I found myself in Gandalf-land.
Who would win in a three way fight: you, Jon Oliver, or Stephen Colbert?
I’m not sure who would win, but I could tell you who would lose, and that would be me. Just on a bone-density level.
Do you have any thoughts on the efficacy of edited, pre-taped interviews?
Some The Daily Show interviewees (Matt Slick, Peter Schiff, Wayne Allyn Root) have complained they were interviewed for several hours for only a few minutes of on-air footage, and that they were asked the same questions repeatedly until they tripped up, or that the questions/answers/reaction shots were spliced out of sequence to cast them in a more negative light.
I don’t think we operate in that different a manner than most of the sort of magazine field-piece shows.
That being said, we always take somebody’s complaints or reservations seriously, and look into it, but the overwhelming majority don’t seem to not only have no issues with it, but are pleased with it, and the ones that do have issues are welcome to reach out, but that doesn’t mean that they’re right in believing their views are misrepresented.
I stand by our team.
stands up, begins to sing GOD BLESS AMERICA, slowly begins to take off clothes, people in room begin vomiting.
Have you ever considered running for office?
No.
