Hello everybody. I’m a stand-up comedian, actor, and writer.
My new web series that I wrote and directed “COP SHOW” is currently running on LStudio.com. It takes a fictional behind-the-scenes look at yours truly trying to make an NYC cop drama and features Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Norton, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, SNL’s Michael Che, Peter Grosz, Griffin Newman, and more…
I also have a book this June, “The Coloring Book”, which you can learn more about here.
Victoria’s helping me get started today. AMA!
Thanks for the questions. I hope you go jump in a lake. I mean have a good weekend.
Do you ever lie awake at night wondering how different your career trajectory would have been if the director of Crocodile Dundee 2 would have just listened?
No but I bet Paul Hogan does.
Editor Note: Colin Quinn re-wrote the script for Crocodile Dundee 2 with a version that included himself throughout the whole movie. Listen to the YouTube interview here.
I heard you’re something of a bookworm, Colin. What are some of your favorites?
I like to read funny books. I said Confederacy already but Don Quixote is funny and Lolita is funny. Just read Richard Price The Whites (not funny) but it was great.
I’m a big fan, and especially enjoyed Tough Crowd. Would you ever consider a re-boot of that format? If you did re-boot it, what younger comedians would you want to have on the panel?
Tough Crowd would be great especially with all the new comedians around but I’m not going to do it myself because it looks like Im a one trick pony which I am but…
Carlin or Pryor?
Carlin or Pryor is impossible to answer. Like asking if I prefer Sunni or Shiite. They both have such amazing insights and their messages resonate with me.
I am thinking about taking a new job in an unfamiliar area, what’s your advice on making big changes in your life?
My advice is when you move to a new area, put a rolled up newspaper under your shirt, knock on your neighbors doors and when they open it let them see the bulge under your shirt and tell them “this is what’s up now”. Then wink and snap your fingers and walk away.
Do you think it is wise for comedians to date other comedians?
I think comedians dating other comedians is great. But not if one is a hack and one is good. Or if they have a kid who’s a hack.
How do you keep your twitter so fresh and trendy?
I keep twitter fresh by following some of the latest events in the news. For example, I understand there’s a big NCAA bracket. I haven’t lost yet. So people look to me for leadership in that regard.
Tolstoy or Dostoyevsky?
Dostoyevsky. I guess. That’s a tough one. It’s like the Carlin and Pryor question.
Do you consider Norm Macdonald a genius? Would you have him on your show?
I don’t know what constitutes a “genius” but Norm Macdonald is as funny and brilliant as anyone in comedy that’s a given. If anyone is a genius he would fall into that category, though. I would have him on the show in a heartbeat.
Will Unconstitutional become a special sometime soon?
Unconstitutional will be a special soon. Where or when I don’t know. If worse comes to worse I will release it on Reddit.
Favorite non-goodfellas movie of all time?
In The Heat of The Night, On the Waterfront, Millers Crossing, The Roaring Twenties, Midnight Cowboy, The Heartbreak Kid (the original) and more..
How’s Jerry doing these days?
Jerry is broke. So he’s going through a weird time right now.
What’s up with your legs? Were you like burned as a kid or something?
No my legs were not burned as a kid. They just happen to be unnervingly thin. Paul Newman had skinny legs but nobody busted his balls.
What was your reaction to being placed in the bottom 6 of the Rolling Stones list of all SNL cast members?
I was thrilled to be included in the bottom six of the Rolling Stone list of SNL cast members. Thanks for reminding me.
Any good book recommendations? I loved the podcast you did with Kevin Pang and because of that I got into Eugene O’Neil and probably would have never picked him up if not for you.
I would say read a Confederacy of Dunces. It’s the funniest book ever IMHO and I tried to get Patrice to read it but of course he just looked at me like I asked him to lend me money.
Any tips in regards to stand up comedy that you would like to share?
Tell your life stories and add the jokes in. You will be original. All you have in stand up is you and the way you view things.
Your stand up was the inspiration for so many TV shows (Girls, Modern Family, Big Bang Theory) so when will you get your own network sitcom?
I’m actually doing a sitcom coming out soon. It’s about a man who moves into an ant colony and all the drama that occurs because of the culture and lifestyle clashes that you would imagine.
When are you gonna put a book out?
My book is Coloring Book it’s out in June.
What are you up to now that your career is over?
Sir, my career is not over. And to state that it is well, that’s really inappropriate on this forum. In fact, I’d like to stab you repeatedly.
How often do you meet new people who ask you to tell you a joke off the top of your head, or requests to make them laugh? And do you like or despise such people?
People do ask you to tell jokes when you are a comedian. They are either dumb or hostile. Or dumb and hostile. I usually just assume they mean well but are dumb. But when you tell them a joke they don’t laugh which is infuriating.
I was wondering what is your favorite band and why is it the sick fukin puppies?
My favorite band is the Beatles. I thought they had some great songs especially from 1963 to 1970.
Did anyone ever tell Marion she looks like Dusty Rhodes?
I always felt that Marion had more of a Bobby the Brain Heenan hairdo in that it never really moves.
How do you feel after those burns from Dolph Ziggler and Amy Schumer?
I felt they were uncalled for and out of line. But what can you do. Some people are gonna be like that. Taylor Swift says it best.
What’s your favorite George Carlin album and why is it Occupation Foole?
It’s not Occupation Foole. That had some good moments but Class Clown was a monster! It allowed millions of Irish Catholics to laugh at their trauma. Now it’s a given but that was the first really funny reflection of American Catholic childhood.
Why did you wear such tight jeans in that old HBO special you did? I couldn’t even finish watching it, your ridiculous get-up made me so uncomfortable. I was embarrassed for you!
I see. Well you weren’t around in the early 90’s. I was cutting edge.I picked that outfit out myself and I wish I looked like that now.
If you could do Second Chance Theater on the Seth Meyers show, which skit would you like to do?
I would do a sketch called Big Bully written by Adam McKay.